It’s soul crushing. The phrase popped into my mind. Too negative. I refuse to accept it. I shall not be crushed. I’ll try not to be crushed. How do I get back up?

Can I be positive? Can I flip the coin and see the other side? Do I have hope? Can I ride the wave?

Am I crushing it? Do I feel alive or inspired? Soul check.

It’s more than just about having a purpose in life or even a passion. It’s actually about feeling like you are energized and you can’t wait for the next thing to come up or to happen. You have some sense of confidence that what you’re thinking and doing has some importance or impact, but it also gives you this sense of Joy that you cannot find anywhere else.

It’s not really about affirmation from other people or seeking glory or having the next best podcast and or a lot of YouTube views. It’s actually about trying to become truly who you are and loving it. I often think that if I could just figure out how to not just accept who I am, but to love who I am, I would feel much better and one of the things that’s come up in a lot of the research that I’ve been seeing is this.

Figure out the obstacles that get in your way. What is the obstacle that keeps your soul from soaring? Why wouldn’t you want to have wings to fly? One of the songs that I recently listened to, a favorite, was sung by Annie Lennox. The song is Little Bird. If you listen to the lyrics, it is a powerful song in many ways. It transcends all politics, culture or class implications for me. It actually speaks to the fact that if I could just get out of the nest, you know, even if I’d fallen out of the nest, and now I’m on the ground, I need to fly. I’m that little bird that needs to fly. I was born to fly.  What are the weights that are holding me down?

I think it’s one of the most powerful things that music can do for us. The writers, performers or contributors can impact our lives. They help us rise. Listen to Little Bird or Landslide on Youtube.

You are a contributor. Every person that you meet, every time that you are speaking to someone and you give them some form of encouragement, you change. They change. Even if it’s just listening to their ideas or their troubles. You have offered them a space to fly and wouldn’t everyone want to fly?

It brought to mind a movie that was a huge influence on me. Hope floats with Sandra Bullock is a great movie. Excellent writing. I think it’s a great movie to talk about how you survive adversity. We all have these things happen that we didn’t plan for. We all have family issues or problems with our partners, work concerns and more. We keep trying to find the best life. We think we had it and then we lost it. Hope just slipped through your fingers. In the movie, Birdie’s mom gives her such hope. To say that in the midst of all things, hope floats. If you let it, there is something that is going to happen in your life today or tomorrow that will give you hope. You don’t want to miss it.

Birdee tells her daughter: “Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That’s what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too…”

As a parent, boss or best friend, what we say has an impact. Words matter and live in the universe. Sometimes those words are good for your soul. Sometimes they crush your soul and no matter what you do, they seem to follow you the rest of your life. It doesn’t matter that you know they are not true. You just can’t shake them like the tiny bur seed of a weed stuck to your clothing. As a gardener, this has happened to me many times. They are so hard to pick off. But it’s worth the time to get rid of them. It takes work and sitting through hurt and anger. It takes walking through the pain and loss. Being confident or hopeful that you will come out the other end okay.

Why can’t the good things in life be sticky, too?

Research shows that you can hold on to the little or big wins in your life. We tend to remember negative experiences more. It’s what keeps us safe and comes from that tiger in the weeds. It raises our cortisol and triggers our fight or flight.

Those situations are not always coming at us from the outside. I look at the battles I have within. I recognize when I did something I really wanted to even if I was scared or tired or angry. I was in control. Those small wins can stack up. Why do losses become mountains? They become insurmountable. I have to remind myself that I can climb mountains. I did it recently. With effort, training, obstacles and help.

Each day I choose me. I do at least one thing to make my life better. I eat well, try to sleep enough and build muscle. Chores are important but I need to do something to let my soul rise. To let hope rise again from the ashes of my life. Can I rise again? I hope so. I guess I will wait and see. I will be curious about tomorrow and live well today. So I need to get moving. Take action to make a better tomorrow!

Inspo:

Hope Floats Movie (quote above).

Landslide Song by Stevie Nicks: Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

The mythological story of the the Phoenix bird that rises from the ashes of its predecessor symbolizes the past self and the new self. It symbolizes overcoming adversity, rebirth, strength and is a cycle of life. Every ending is a new beginning.

While a 1% change each day feels minor in the moment, consistently making better choices determines who you become. Check out Atomic Habits by James Clear for more research about how you can change your life for the better in a year. It will surprise you. So I try to make at least one decision every day to make myself grow and let hope float.

Your cells are regenerating every day. Your choices today make the new you tomorrow! A growth mindset makes a difference! How Your Thoughts Influence Your Health | Dr. Ellen Langer & Dr. Andrew Huberman

Photo of the raven was taken by me at Ocean Beach from my West Coast trip where I climbed mountains!